*Sighs* I need new friends by warlady21

This is the stupidest thing anyone could do. But I laughed. I had to laugh. You don’t hear this shit often enough.

See, a woman friend of mine, we’ll call her Amy, got into a fight with her boyfriend we will call Paul.

Paul wasn’t pleaseing Amy very well, and Amy kept telling people how Paul was a very very bad lay and he was smaller than a roll of dimes.

Well Amy has a box of toys, one of which was a butt plug, her favorite. She also kept a red bottle of lube inside. Unlabled.

So, one day, after she embarassed him at the mall, Paul snuck over to her house and replaced the lube with another bottle.

Next thing I know, Amy calls me at home because she needs a ride to the hospital. She couldn’t get her butt plug out of her butt. someone replaced her lube with super glue.

so yeah….awkward silence at the Emergency room.

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Well, i was going to suggest that, but as soon as she left, she shaved his Malumute (Big Hairy Dog breed). I have no idea how she did that.

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Well, at least the dog can move around better. ugly big guy though.

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Acturaly, you’re not supposed to shave Maumutes. something about sun damage.

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butt plug. super glue. can’t do anal for a few weeks. Think about it.

Still, that was a little far.

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Hence why I have the not-so-hairy-mutt at my house until the two stop with their prank war. No more innocents caught in the cross fire.

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Fights over. Thank God.

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Well, the man and woman are safe, but there were victimes:

The Dog His truck Her Motorcycle His collection of Sailor moon movies. her Hentai films His mother learning that he masterbates to a kids program her father learning that she had sex with a middle school kid before she turned 18 in highschool….

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thanks for the advice and I’ll get the truck if you get the straightjackets

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I’ll have to remember that. But I know where to get jackets cheap. I have the strangest friends in the world…not to mention my ex boss at the adult store sells straight jackets.