Short story - Last Call by Shadowkeeper

[center][u:2hngjc9z][b:2hngjc9z][size=14pt]LAST CALL

By Shadowkeeper[/size][/b:2hngjc9z][/u:2hngjc9z][/center]

[center][i:2hngjc9z][size=12pt]The following is a transcript of a phone conversation at the office of one Alice Cummins[/size][/i:2hngjc9z]

[size=12pt]Ring tone, pick up

Alice: “Hello?”

Hannah: “Mum? I-I screwed up Mum.” Hannah’s voice is high and quavering; in the background a pig-like squealing can be heard.

Alice: “Hannah? What’s going on – what is that noise?”

Hannah, voice tight: “That’s Amy – she – she’s being spitted. I don’t think she’s too happy about it either.”

Alice, alarmed now: “Hannah, where are you? What have you done?”

Hannah: “We – we’re at a party – umm, like a barbeque type one, and well, we didn’t know until we got here that it was across the border…”

Alice: “Oh, God, you’re in Dolcett county aren’t you?”

Hannah: “Well, there were these cute guys, and they invited us to a party – Beth tried to get us to stay home, but you know Amy, she said she would go alone if she had to, so we all went and-”

Alice: “And now she’s meat…please tell me that’s all that’s gone wrong?”

Hannah: “Well, we got to drinking, then they wanted all us girls to play presidents and assholes to see who would cook, and, well, none of us knew how to play it and….” Long pause, then all in a rush. “and now Amy is becoming a pig on a stick, Beth is hanging by her ankles, and I’m strapped to a big tree stump.”

Alice, not sounding very rational: “Damn it Hannah, after all the promotions I turned down to keep us out of that place, and you go leading your friends in there with ‘eat me’ written on your foreheads-”

Hannah, having to shout over her mother: “Mum, I get it, you right, me wrong, but this isn’t helping any.”

Alice, calming down: “Sorry, you’re right, you’re right…ok, let me think for a minute.”

The background squealing suddenly changes into an awful retching, then stops.

Hannah, quietly, sounding awed: “It-it’s all the way through her…I can’t believe it…” Louder, alarmed now: “Oh my God, she’s wiggling around still…she’s alive – THEY’RE GOING TO COOK HER ALIVE!”

Alice, trying to stay calm: “Hannah, love, you need to wave someone over so I can negotiate…I know some people…”

Hannah, frustrated: “I can’t Mum, they left our hands tied since we all have headsets…besides, they said if we talk to them they’ll gag us…Beth is talking to someone too…she looks pretty calm, I don’t think she could see Amy without her glasses.”

Alice: “Hannah, you’ve got to try, I can get you out of this, but I need you to listen to me.”

Hannah: “Oh, shit, they’re coming for Beth now, they’ve got these nasty looking knives…I don’t think she sees- never mind, she’s spotted them, she’s losing it…”

In the background a girl’s voice shouts ‘Daddy’ twice, then starts a heart-rending wail of despair. Suddenly the cries turn into a gurgling sound.

Hannah, sounding faint: “Shit that’s a lot of blood…she’s flopping around like a fish…I- I can hear her dad yelling…” Hannah raises her voice in anger: “Fuckers! They didn’t even hang up! He can hear the whole thing…why would they do that?”

Hannah sobs, then retches: “Oh, shit, I’m gonna puke…”

Alice: “Baby, are you there? What’s happening?”

Hannah, after a delay: “They gutted her, just opened her up and started tossing stuff out…she was still alive Mum…I saw her eyes moving, she was still alive!”

Silence for a moment, then Hannah, voice shocked and quiet: “She’s gone now…they did it. They killed her…and I’m next. Oh, God, I’m gonna die, aren’t I?”

Alice, trying to stay calm: “No baby, I’m not going to let that happen. You’ve got to get them to talk to me.”

Hannah, panicking: “They’re heading this way – Oh shit that’s a big axe!”

Alice: “Hannah…”

Hannah: “Ohmygod, ohmygod, ohmygod.”

Alice: “Hannah, you’ve got to-”

Hannah gasps in pain, a man’s voice from nearby: “Shit man, this bitch is squeezing my dick like a vice.”

Alice, over grunts of girl and man: “Hannah, Hannah, you’ve got to get them to talk to me, please baby…”

Man’s voice: “Say goodbye sweetie.”

Hannah, sobbing: “I love you Mum!”

Alice, voice breaking: “Oh, Hannah…”

Loud, solid thunk, followed by softer bumps and swishes of an object rolling through grass. Shouts of glee in the background.

Alice: “Hannah? Hannah! Oh, God…”[/size]

[i:2hngjc9z][size=12pt]End call.[/size][/i:2hngjc9z][/center]

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[quote author=luiscypher link=topic=1554.msg6543#msg6543 date=1312585031] I’m slowly trying to read all your stuff as I work on my own! This one is simply fabulous! It’s a technique I tried to use in As With Most Days, but the bit I wrote sucked, so I had to do it in a flashback…

You do it sooo much better! [/quote]

Thank you! It means alot to hear that from you…I must admit that I’ve always been pretty proud of how this one turned out. It just sort of popped into my head fully formed while I was working one night…I’ve been wanting to do some more ‘last calls’, but I haven’t really found any concepts that fit the format as well as I’d like.

I’d be interested in seeing what you did come up originally for that scene - for some reason Naomi’s fate was always a focus of my attention in that story.