Gay Marriage

[quote=”KK”:2b597j97]However, I think marriage holds a different meaning - at least for me it does -, namely a couple living together with the idea of having children. Or at the very least the option of doing so.

Apparently that doesnt quite work out with same sex partners. So, I think it shouldnt be called marriage. Give it a different name and it’s all fine.[/quote:2b597j97]

Fluffy’s first wife (Poofy if you’re curious) had four mothers and they didn’t talk about her father. I believe he either was a criminal or a rapist, but they basically offered to shoot him if he ever showed up again. I know a number of gay and les couples that adopt and I consider it a family.

But, there is a reason I want to call it marriage. We have civil unions here in the US which should be just like a marriage. The company I work for even has clauses for it. However, if they aren’t legally required to offer a service, they won’t. So, there are a bunch of places in there (insurance happens to be one of them) where it basically says “married couples only, no civil unions except in the following states….” Since they don’t have to, they won’t.

Fluffy’s parents rant about gays all the time. In specific, the company they work for is somewhat progressive. At the time, gay marriages weren’t acknowledged, so their company basically gave gay couples full rights including insurance, etc. The problem is, Fluffy’s parents were married and they couldn’t get those same right. So they saw the gays getting unfair advantage since they didn’t have to be married to get insurance. I argued that if gay marriage was legal, then their company wouldn’t have that exception and everyone would have to prove marriage. The exemption came because there was now way to prove it legally.

Likewise, there was a fairly recent item in the news about a married gay couple were having problems after one of them died. The other was being hit with the full estate tax because while the state acknowledge their marriage, the Federal didn’t. And since the Federal didn’t on the tax form, the state also hit them up for the estate tax. It was legal (both a civil union and a marriage) but since the laws didn’t treat civil unions as the same as marriage, it wasn’t.

So, the only way civil union would be a good choice is if every law that referred to marriage also included civil union. Otherwise, civil unions will always be a second class relationship compared to marriage. And, as you can probably guess, politicians aren’t going to go back and change every law. And when you have lawyers arguing over things like ‘a’ and commas, I’m pretty sure it will always be a difference.

NEXT POST

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One of the things I dread about the upcoming election season is the polarity of gay marriage. Obviously, I’m for gay marriage and it is something I think is just as beautiful thing as straight marriage. I also don’t believe in the Christian dogma about “one man, one woman”. I don’t care what the parts involved are… actually, I know some triads and quads that are very stable and just as loving as anyone else.

I also know that marriage doesn’t always work. It doesn’t matter the gender, drama is drama. The players change slightly, but if you take the L-Word and swap out the genders of some of the characters, it is just like any other drama on TV. The sexuality is just a canvas but the problems still exist.

But, it is going to be a battleground in the politics of this year. Gay marriage is going to be one of those hot issues, not only because we are getting so polarized in this country but also because I think it is something that is turning into a generational gap. Those under 30-ish seem a LOT more tolerant of gay relationships than the 30+ group.

Obama being in favor of gays is not… a new idea. He already announced he wasn’t going to fight for DOMA which I respect him for. It is one of the few things I like about him as a president. But, it also set up an argument about gay marriage. (I suspect the gay marriage thing is also going to be used as a distraction against the issues by both sides of this fight).

I’m just not looking forward to it. Because, either we keep Obama or we get someone so anti-gay, anti-porn, anti-everything I am that my life is going to be hell for four years.

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