Twin Shadows

He sat at the table, eating toast and reading the morning paper.  He saw in the paper that the professor who had found the world’s greatest treasure had been killed that very night.  How interesting, he thought.  He was a detective named Squall.  Squall got up from the table and proceeded to put his breakfast items away while thinking about it.  He went outside and called “Wind, to me” and a gust of wind bore him away to his office.  He got to his office and checked his mailbox, took the mail, unlocked his office and went inside.  He sighed as he saw who was waiting for him.  “FREEZE!!” she yelled as she pointed a gun at him.  “You are a freak, you know that.” She said as he noticed that the gun was shaking in her hands. “Go ahead and fire at me.” Squall said.  He grinned as she pulled the trigger and he sent a blast of wind and stopped the bullet, and then he rushed around behind her and twisted her arm behind her back.  “You are as fast as they say you are.” “Yes, of course I am, I have the power of wind after all.” Squall replied. “Now who are you?”  She told him that she was the daughter of the professor who found the world’s greatest treasure. “What are you doing here?” Squall asked. “I think he was murdered.  I found his body and he had some slices on him that looked unnatural, and since you are supernatural yourself, I decided to come to you”, she started. “I grabbed some of his notes and other things that I thought might be of importance to you.”  She dumped a bag on his desk.  He began going through it slowly, caressing each piece.  “Your father was a great man, to go find that treasure the way he did”, Squall said.  “Now this is interesting.  What is it?” Squall asked as he pulled out a small object.  She pulled a paper out of the bag and said that the two items went together.  He read the paper and it said that the small thing was a puzzle piece that, when the puzzle was completed, would unlock where the professor hid the treasure after he found it.  The woman told Squall that the professor hid it so that it would not be used for evil purposes.  Well, he said, we need to find those other pieces, correct?  How can we find them?  She thought and pointed to the last items in the bag.  It was a weird mix of a magnifying glass and a map.  She began explaining that the puzzle piece went under the glass and lit up the map where it fit and it would give a clue where the next piece was.  “I believe he left the pieces with colleagues of his after he found out where the next piece was then put the mall together when he found the mall and mailed them back to his colleagues.”  “So now we need to find them,” Squall said.  “Yes, so we can get the treasure and use it to help the world.”  And me, she whispered softly.  Squall heard but said nothing as he was used to the greedy women he dealt with everyday.  “Well, shall we get started?”  Squall questioned.  “We need to find out where to go first, Squall.”  He began to put the piece on the map when he heard a crash.  He looked up quickly and saw a black blur.  “She is mine now, you puppet”, the blur hissed and grabbed the woman as she yelled, “Squall, help me!!”  He rushed around the desk but was too late.  The blur was out the door and off into the trees.  Squall stood there for a bit, looking puzzled.  Interesting, he thought as he grinned.  The hunt begins.  He sat down and looked at the piece and noticed something.  He saw an n arrow with a little n in it.  “Got it!” he exclaimed.  He put the piece with the n pointing to the top of the map.  Now to see where it is.  He moved around the piece until it lit up brightly. It was in a park with three question marks for the name.  Hmmm, looks like the next piece is there, he thought.  “Time to hunt”, he said as he went to the back of the office. He punched the place where the wall met the floor just to the left of his desk. A floor panel slid aside and he gazed with love at the miscellaneous items of a part of his trade lying before him.  He began pulling things out and equipping them.  First was the vest, able to hold shuriken and kunai without them bouncing around and making sound.  Next was the pant covering that could hold other random items.  He took the glass/map thing and put it into one of the pockets securely.  Next he pulled out the swords.  The wakazashi went onto his back in a diagonal sheath.  Same as with the staff he pulled out, but it went the other way so that they made an x.  A few more things, he thought.  He pulled on the ninja mask and shoes, nearly completing the outfit.  He put on the ankle bracelets that held random items.  He pulled on the belt and locked it.  Finally, he reached to the very bottom and pulled out the final sheath, which he attached to the belt.  Now, to get revenge, he thought with fierce determination and a flat grin on his face.  He went out and as he pulled the door behind him shut, the closed sign came up.  He darted off into the trees, following the way the black blur went.  He stopped occasionally to make sure he was going the right way.  The blur is leading me into a trap, Squall thought.  He pulled out the glass/map and noticed that he was getting closer to the park.  He jumped through one last group of trees and saw a clearing.  He reached the clearing and stopped.  He noticed lines of trees and planters.  “Well, this is the park”, Squall breathed silently.  He jumped up into a tree to get a better view of the park and looked left and right.  “Down here”, he heard a whisper.  He looked down and saw a little ninja.  He dropped down and embraced the ninja.  “Wow, it is great to see you again”, he whispered to the little one.  He pulled down both of their ninja masks and kissed her.  She did not fight back like most girls would.  “What brings you to this neck of the woods, Shade?”  “I thought you could use a little help, plus a target of mine resides in this area”, Shade replied.  “I figure you are here for the girl?  They are about 150 paces that way”, and she pointed to the left.  “We could pincer attack them”, Squall whispered.  “All right, I will come from the back”, Shade replied mirroring the look of determination on Squall’s face.  “Mission Start!” they said as they kicked their feet together.  Shade rushed off to get behind the targets.  Squall followed behind her for a little ways then dropped off.  He came up behind the blur and the woman and stood a little way back, being unnoticeable.  The woman was saying something.  He called for the wind to listen in and bring him the words.  “I will give you anything if you let me go!!!”  The woman was crying.  She kept blubbering as her makeup caked up and made her look like a snake.  Squall blanched at how ugly the woman got.  She should not have used makeup today, Squall thought with humor.  I hate makeup, because to me it has no practicality.  A woman should use her natural abilities, not use a mask to transform herself into something she is not, Squall thought.  The blur was beginning to get annoyed at the woman because he was losing his concentration with her making such a fuss.  In the next moment, many things happened at once.  First, the blur turned around to berate the woman.  Second, Squall heard a small clink and began racing towards the blur.  Third, Shade began jumping towards the blur.  Lastly, the blur saw both of them coming and smacked the woman into silence.  He turned and stood, waiting for Squall.  Squall drew his wakazashi and directed it towards the blur.  “Not yet”, hissed the blur.  He pulled a wakazashi from the shadow on his back.  The swords met with a clanging of metal.  Squall began summoning the wind to try to give him an edge.  Wind Blast!!  “Nice try, Squall,” the blur said with sarcasm, “but try this!!  Dark Wind Blast!!”  The windblasts cascaded together and cancelled each other out.  What?  Squall was startled, so the blur took that moment and broke his sword out of the grapple and made a killing blow directed at Squall.  Thrust!  The sword pierced Squall through the middle and the blur pulled it out and licked the blood off the blade.  Delicious, the blur said and grinned evilly.  Shade just stood off to the side, shocked. “You are next, girl.”  The blur rushed over to her and pulled her mask off and pushed his tongue into her mouth.  “Do you like Squall’s blood, beautiful?” The blur pulled away, disgusted with Shade.  “You have no power, I do not see what Squall sees in you.  If he gets back up, tell him that I got away with the woman.”  Shade just nodded mindlessly.  The blur grabbed the woman and rushed off.  A few minutes later, an old man appeared from the opposite direction the blur rushed.  The old man looked at Squall and Shade, then he kicked Squall.  “You’re not dead, pansy, I know you’re not.”  Squall sat up and grinned.  “No, I am not, old man.”  “Squall, you’re ok!!!”  Shade rushed over to him and hugged him.  “Of course he is,” the old man said.  “Now, you need this.”  The old man gave Squall a puzzle piece.  “What are you two waiting for, go after the next piece!”  Squall got up with Shade still hanging on him.  “First I have to help her”, pointing at Shade.  Shade let go of him and smiled.  “Yep, let’s go, let’s go!”  Shade ran off down the park.  “Be warned of that one, Squall, she has untold power waiting to be unleashed, but then, so do you, although we know what yours is.”  “I know master, I will keep watch over her, her power could be useful to us.”  “See you then, Squall.”  “Farewell, master.”  Squall ran off into the sunset to help Shade.

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You have some interesting characters in the story. Breaking up the paragraphs would not be a bad idea, if you edit the post you should see some “Input format” options, one of them might work better for you.

You definately have an abrupt style of writing which adds to the sense of moving quickly, urgently. Overall, it really has promise for the sequel. Thank you for posting.

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I think you for your comment. I can get better, hopefully.

Tis the way.

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That’s all you need. The more you do it, the better and faster you get. I think one reason I write good stories is because of that, despite the fact I haven’t written anything for a month. :( Or paid attention to this site.

But, it is a good story and I’m sure I’ll enjoy the next thing you write.