My Visit to a Cannibal Restaurant by Ludovico

My Visit to a Cannibal Restaurant

As some of you may have noticed, I take numerous long vacations. That is because for many years I have been searching for the most elusive of eateries: The Cannibal Restaurant. While many scoff, and chalk up all the stories to urban legends and old wives tales, I have never lost the faith. With all the various cannibal fetishists and fantasizers worldwide, and the fact that money will buy anything, I just knew one had to exist. Well, guess what, my friends? On this last trip, I finally struck gold (or meat): Dinner at a genuine Cannibal Restaurant.

My quest, and various rumors, have taken me to many far-flung corners of the globe: Queretaro, Fez, Hondarrabia, Cuzco, Macau, and Des Moines. Always I have been disappointed. However, one place held more promise than others – Bangkok. It was there, on my third try, that I finally hit paydirt!

It is well known that Bangkok has a major sex industry. Thailand even offers special organized sex tours. Live sex shows are common. While all of this is quite conventional, it always seemed logical to me that with lots of money floating around, much more might be available to those with connections. It was only a matter of penetrating behind the scenes to find the right contact.

On both my previous trips I discovered that a lone male, walking down the street, will be approached approximately seven times a minute with an offer to be taken to a sex show, or house of prostitution. I simply started to just say the word cannibalism, or cannibal show, to each shill. Most of the time they just repeated their offer, or seemed confused. A few times phony offers were made, but this was easily discovered.

Originally, years ago, I simply hoped to find some kind of Cannibal Show. This was before I was on the Internet, and felt very alone in my fetish, not understanding why, with the zillions of sex shows, I couldn’t find one with a cannibal theme. It’s still both puzzling and frustrating. However, once I realized I was not alone, I knew it was only a matter of breaking into some inner circle. Obviously, something like this would have to be for special insiders.

On this trip, I decided to stay in the Silom/Surawong area. This is much higher class than the sleazy Sukhumvit area – what I was searching for would only be for folks with the bucks. I chose the New Peninsula Hotel. It is 4 stars, but inexpensive (if you book through an agency rather than direct – which the hotel will actually send you to – strange). A rather long walk down Th Surawong brings you to Th Patpong, soi 1 and 2. These streets, and those adjoining, are packed with go-go bars, and sex shows. The whole area is loaded with shills.

This time, when the shills approached, I repeated the same routine, but with an added touch: I gave my name as Ludovico, and threw around a number of names and terms, including Dolcett, Perro Loco, and CannToon. I’m not sure if it made the difference, but one evening, I finally got the offer!

The evening started off normal enough. I walked down to O’Reilly’s Irish Pub, and had a Guinness. You can also get Guinness at Delaney’s nearby, but it’s fancier, and I was gearing up for a long evening. After enjoying my drink, I hit the go-go bars. Here I switched to Singha, which is actually a damn good beer. I kept repeating my requests and keywords to the shills trying to get me into a sex show, as I went from bar to bar.

I was sitting in a bar, watching the exotic dancers (both shemale and female revues), when a lady approached (no, no – she was in her thirties), whispered the words Cannibal Restaurant, and walked past the long stage, toward the back of the bar. Stunned, I quickly followed. We went through the back into an alley, and she handed me a piece of paper with a rather large sum written on it, and informed me it was the cover charge. When I hesitated, she smiled and began to walk away. Thowing caution to the wind, I agreed, and paid her. She asked how much I had in traveler checks (naturally, I did not carry a credit card), frowned, shrugged, and led me to a van around the corner.

Realizing the incredible chance I was taking, I still got into the van, and allowed myself to be blindfolded. If this was finally a genuine offer, I couldn’t risk passing it up over minor concerns like my life! As we drove for around 45 minutes, she informed me I would be limited in what I could order at the restaurant, and asked if I wanted to go to get more funds. Based on the amount I already had in traveler checks, and the possibility it might be a set-up, I declined. I would settle for a anything if it was real!

At this point, I felt the same way I did when I first saw the Cookbook for Cannibals listed on the Internet’s Sickest Sites. As I clicked that URL, I was literally trembling, praying I finally found the real thing. Now again, my stomach was turning somersaults: Was I really being taken to a Cannibal Restaurant? Had I gotten on the inside? I’m generally a cautious person, and realized the gamble I was taking.

After what seemed ages, but was probably under and hour, the van came to a halt. I was led out blindfolded, and when the blindfold was removed, I was in a small, dark, rather fancy lobby. An elegantly dressed and rather stern looking lady handed me a menu. My heart leaped into my mouth – it looked genuine. Then I saw the prices, and felt faint. However, I quickly recovered, realizing this was to be expected, and was overcome with excitement. Could it be real? I still wasn’t completely sure.

First, the lady made me swear to secrecy about specific details, with the threat of death (which I tend to weigh heavily). When I told her I would write it as a story, she agreed with stipulations, and I am revealing as much as I can. She said she was familiar with the fantasizers, with a bit of contempt in her voice.

Then she asked me what I wanted to order. After some deliberation, I chose an item (which I cannot reveal). Smiling, she said I made a good choice in my price range, and led me down a corridor. As part of the package (cover charge and meal), I was allowed to pass thought a holding area (I could never have afforded a tour of the kitchen). It was unbelievable, meeting my wildest fantasies (no - not beyond). Then something happened that was truly over the top!

As we passed a cage, a Caucasian girl reached out screaming, and grabbed my shirt. Shrieking hysterically, the young blond girl cried she was abducted from a school trip, with three of her friends. With tears running down her cheeks, and barely coherent, she said she thought they had been cooked and eaten. Roughly, the lady pulled her hand away from my sleeve, and pushed me along. The girl cried out please help, they were going to eat her, and then fell down sobbing as we moved away.

Rather startled, I glanced at the lady as we rounded a corner, and she knew what I was thinking. She smiled, and wrote a figure down on a sheet of paper, with the words whole roaster. It made me sorry I didn’t buy Microsoft in ’86, or at least save all my comic books from when I was a kid. I must admit thought, I was quite shaken up.

We finally arrived at an area of private cubicles with tables inside. I was seated, and could make out others, but could see no faces. After a while, and a Singha, my meal arrived. It was a delicious dinner (including a Catfish Salad), but only one part of it had female flesh. I had chosen a cut of leg meat from the inner thigh, and it was succulent and tender. The sauce was a light one, as I wanted the full flavor of female meat.

This small cut of thigh meat was eaten very slowly, as I savored each bite. Closing my eyes as I carefully chewed the succulent flesh, concentrating on the flavor and texture, I was fulfilling the fantasy of a lifetime. It is hard to describe the flavor, you must experience it for yourselves.

One incident interrupted my wonderful feast. While waiting for dessert, I heard a commotion, loud shrieking and struggling , and realized it was the abducted Caucasian school girl. She was being dragged down the corridor, kicking, screaming, and fighting wildly. As I glanced out, barely seeing her go by, I caught a glimpse of her frantic, tear-stained face. I guess someone paid the price for a fine whole roaster, and she was taken through the main seating area for the benefit of the customers.

While eating my feast, I naturally wondered if it was the real thing, or just a very expensive show. So I took a foolish chance. I put a very tiny piece of the female meat in a napkin, and slipped it in my pocket.

When the multi-course, and truly outstanding meal was done, I was led to the lobby, and again blindfolded. The van took me back to the bar, but during the ride, I passed out from all the drinking, and excitement. I awoke in the bar early next morning, while they were cleaning up, an unfinished beer in my hand. I had a splitting headache.

Dazed, I stumbled out of the bar, into the somewhat cool early morning air. I wandered over to the Starbucks, by the Bangkok City Tower, and got a large coffee. Walking down Silom road back toward my hotel, sipping my coffee, I found myself wondering if the whole thing actually happened. As you all know, I am a vivid Cannibal Fantasizer, and adventures like the above run though my head all the time. As I was getting drunk in the bars, watching the dancing girls, did my imagination create the whole episode? Was it simply wishful longing combined with lots of beer?

While my mind went over the fantastic events (real of imagined) of the night before, I suddenly discovered I went right past my hotel. Near the river by the Oriental Hotel, I decided to catch the express boat north, to the Grand Palace. On the boat, still sipping my coffee, watching all the activity along the great river, I remembered the small piece of meat I hid in the napkin. Again, with my heart in my mouth, I reached in my pocket. To my chagrin, the napkin had been apparently removed when I passed out in the van. I guess it was something the folks who operated the restaurant expected.

So ended my visit to a Cannibal Restaurant.